It never fails. At some point during a semester I become overwhelmed with the desire to change jobs. During this period, usually around the mid-point of a semester, it's hard to muster up the energy to complete the grading needed to help my students. It's the mid-mester blues.
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that my students and I are in the middle of everything, a darkness so complete that nothing gets accomplished, and that goes for both my students and me.
This happened when I was student, but I had the luxury of taking classes I enjoyed, not to mention it was not the same class ALL the time. Teaching is different in that I find myself being repetitive, obviously, going over the same material over and over again everyday. Sometimes I throw something different in just to break up the redundancy.
Of course, my mid-mester blues could also be an effect of seeing the same disinterested people over and over again, or worse, being surprised when an even more disinterested student actually shows up to class. These students always intrigue me because it's clear, at least from their body/facial movements during your class. Clearly, they want to be somewhere, anywhere but in your class. I have this one student who shows up about once every couple of weeks, and the entire time this student is in my class he/she makes a face as though something rather smelly crossed his/her nose. Normally I find the faces students make while attending class quite entertaining, sometimes distracting, but mostly entertaining. It reminds me of when I was trying so hard to stay awake and pay attention, and if I couldn't focus on what the teacher was saying, I would at least direct my eyes towards the teacher's body and allow my mind to wander. Now, from the other side of the podium, I see that the effect is less than desirable: glazed, unfocused eyes and a slightly open mouth.
I don't know why but somewhere along the way I find the behavior of my students to be odd and disheartening. It's no longer funny when you know some of them are not passing your class. And for those who have turned in all their work, it's a little disheartening to discover that their skills have not improved much. All that work and discussion, all that time spent with their work, and it results in nothing. Status: unchanged.
How do teachers get out of this funk? Is this something other teachers experience as well? I wouldn't know because, as an adjunct, I don't have the time create much in the way of good work-relationships. I show up for class and office hours and that's it. At this point in the semester my fellow teachers and I are so overloaded with work that it's all but impossible to get in more than a simple, "Hello," or "Having a good day?" To which the response is usually a short, "It's going good" and then it's back to business.
I am not an old-hand at this whole teaching thing. In fact, I'm really green. This is just something I've noticed over the past year.
And I teach college. What do grade school teachers do? Just the thought of having to deal with all this and teach junior or high school is enough to pull me out my funk, pull up my big boy britches, and go to work with a smile on my face.
