It's More than Chick'n Ya'll

Weighing in on this whole Chick-fil-A business is rather foolish, but I have now reached a point when staying silent on the matter is no longer a possibility for me. Yes, this blog post will most likely not make it into the wider world; however, I'm content with it circulating at least among my friends.

Protesting is a loud act. I am not a loud person. I protest quietly among my friends and family. Funny, that's also how I feel about religion. For me, as I've mentioned in a previous blog, the practice of religion is a private act, something that should be between God (in whatever form he/she takes for you) and the individual. Public displays of religion do have their place in society. After all, celebrating one's faith in the privacy of his/her home is hardly celebrating, merely a party of one. And who wants to party alone? That being said, religion has a place in society: church. That's what they're there for, to act as meeting places for believers.

I don't have a problem with how people practice their faith, nor with what they believe, but I do have a problem when someone else's faith starts dictating how I should and should not live my life, especially when the beliefs of others begins to encroach on the freedoms that are supposedly guaranteed to all Americans.

One of those freedoms is free speech, which according to the precedents set by the Supreme Court means that Chick-fil-A's CEO has every right to say what he said. He has a right to follow his beliefs. He also has the right to use the profits from a successful business however he sees fit.

Of course, the logic goes that I have a right to not eat at his establishment. I also have the right to protest how he spends his money should I feel it's in violation of my rights as an American.

Now, this whole thing has been blown out of proportion. I blame Mike Huckabee, mostly, and the other governors who have spoke with or against Chik-fil-a's CEO. It may not be the place of a city mayor to decide what businesses set up shop in their city.....

But wait! If we follow that logic, then adult stores and strip clubs can set up anywhere they want, right? The obvious answer is no, they cannot. And there's a pretty logical reason for that, too. In city planning, the city government can decide whom to grant permits to based on how the city managers want their city to be represented, a fact that's illustrated in that strip joints and adult stores are usually relegated to "out-of-the-way" places. Though, apparently, that doesn't stop them from erecting signs that are clearly visible for miles.

Anyway, I digress.

The point is, if a particular business doesn't fit the city government's ideal, or doesn't represent their city in a positive light, then they have every right to dictate where a business can and cannot set up shop, cities like San Francisco, Boston, and Chicago.

I've heard from a couple of friends that it's foolish and idiotic to protest a company like Chick-fil-A (After all, they have the right, right?). I've heard that with so many in the world suffering from starvation and extreme poverty, it seems rather cruel and petty to be discussing the spending habits of one of the Chicken Kings. That's a first-world problem, right?

You know what else is a first-world problem? Civil rights. If we didn't have the freedom to protest such things, then we wouldn't be the nation we are today, a nation where people can speak out against injustice, against inhumanity. If we are to remain a leader in the free world, then we must first demonstrate the very principals that that started this government: Equality for all and the freedom to create a government that meets the public's needs.

Equality unequally distributed: that's a third-world problem.

I am very thankful I have the freedom to drive to the nearest Chick-fil-A and show just how much I dislike the fact that its CEO spends millions of dollars to support "definition of marriage" laws, or anit-gay legislation. And I am very thankful that I can choose to spend my money elsewhere.

Some have mentioned that it's silly to argue over chicken. Now that's idiotic. This is not about chicken, never has been, and any indication all of this aggravation is strictly about chicken is completely missing the point. Trivializing this situation by claiming that's it's "only chicken" does nothing but avoid the conversation, holding it at arms length, hoping it goes away.

It won't go away. The argument is over the kind of power corporations have over individuals, that they can spend millions of dollars to support causes that continuously deny rights to Americans. Proposition 8 passed in California, remember?

Religion seems.... no... IS the driving force behind all of this, and I am growing tired of the politicization of God. "God" no longer signifies the divine, or the awesome; "God" no longer means love and mercy. No, "God" is a tool for politicians to manipulate the masses. It's an SEO key term politicians use to get more votes. Because, obviously, anyone who merely uses the word, "God," is an O-K guy, right?

There seems to be a strange, and growing, ideology in this country that equates morality with religion, that somehow those without religion, or those who don't speak about it behind megaphones, must somehow lack any kind of morals. Naturally, those without religion must spend their nights plotting how to convert all those good Christian (the loudest in this country, or at least the ones I hear from the most, are usually Christian) souls over to the devil. Naturally, all those immoral people want nothing more than to collect souls for hell. Naturally, all those people would allow rapists, murders, and pedophiles roam free, attacking at will.

Anyone who spends any amount of time with people of other, or differing, faiths (or even those with no faith at all) knows that a different religion or no religion does not mean "immoral." Those who are speaking up the loudest seem to be exercising the same kind of power and control that Chick-fil-A's CEO is attempting to obtain.

Normally, I wouldn't care what any of them do. However, it's starting to affect my personal life.

How?

Last summer, on our third anniversary, my boyfriend took me to the restaurant atop The Contemporary Resort at Disney World. There, we had excellent food, wonderful company (in the form of my best friend, Christi, and her husband, Neil), and an excellent view of Magic Kingdom. We were also in a great position to view the firework show that closes the park.

After the fireworks, which are always inspiring and magical, Tim turned to me and started to speak. Tim's not one for speeches in the middle of dinner, at least not ones where he's extremely nervous and formal. I started to get nervous, too, wondering what he was planning to do.

As I was starting to suspect his purpose, Tim pulled out a ring and asked me to marry him.

I said yes and kissed him right there in the middle of the restaurant. In fact, those who were watching looked genuinely happy for us. They didn't care that we were two men; they were simply happy to see two people so in love that they would want to solidify that love by getting married.

It was a beautiful moment, but the beauty of it soon faded because two men getting married is a fantasy in today's political climate. There are only a few states where we can get married, and even if we did get married in those states, we'd have to stay there, or our marriage wouldn't exist. Thank you Defense of Marriage Act.

Sure, Tim and I can get married in a ceremony here in Texas. No one could stop us. After all, a marriage ceremony is another excuse to party. No problem with that.

Except there is a problem: It's not legal. There's no certificate; there's no binding legal contract that comes with saying "I do"; there are no protections should the worst happen.

Yes, Tim and I could hire a lawyer and have him/her draw up tons of paperwork that would do nearly everything an official marriage would accomplish. But why should we have to go through all of that? A heterosexual couple can pay a small fee and get a marriage certificate that grants them a marriage, and we have to hire a lawyer and carrying around copies of those documents with us in case something bad should happen.

Granted, religion, and apparently God himself from what many say, doesn't look too kindly on our relationship. Many of them say it's a choice. Well, I guess in a way they are right. I could follow the advice of Michelle Bachman and marry a woman. That would solve my marriage problems. Thank you, Mrs. Bachman!

The problem is that many people still feel being gay is a choice. For me, it's not. I can marry a woman, but what would that accomplish? I'd be a productive member of society; my wife might even pop out a couple of kids, but what kind of a life would that be for my family?

I don't ask for religious acceptance. Sadly, I gave up on that a long time ago. It takes time for religions to change, which is a good thing, for them.

I do, however, ask that those religious extremists stop their assault on my life.... Actually, no, I can't ask that of them. I mean, they are extremists. Many of them will go to their graves, screaming and fighting.

I want the moderates to start speaking up in this country. So often I hear from individuals that say, "They don't speak for me. That's not the church I go to. God loves everyone."

Those extremists are speaking for those of you who refuse to speak up; they are putting those words into your mouths; they are electing officials that pander to their voices. And all those corporations who send money to organizations that are working to deny my rights as an individual are listening to those extremists.

I don't like extremism of any kind. As I said above, being loud isn't my thing. However, I will exercise my first-world right and speak up. I'm tired of living in a bubble, afraid of what extremists think. I love this country; I love the freedoms we have in this nation. I love that I can stand outside, or inside, a business establishment and kiss my fiance in an act of protest. Again, it's not the chicken we want (although it is good chicken, and I miss it), we want the ability to be treated as equals in society.

Many of my friends and many of family members agree with me already, a good reason why I love them all. There are many who vehemently disagree with me, and that's okay. I'm not writing to either groups of people. I could include quotes from the Bible and the Constitution, but those documents are susceptible to interpretation. Some prefer a static, unchanging view of both. I prefer an adaptable interpretation of both documents. As society changes, so to should how we use and interpret the documents on which our country was built.

Unfortunately, the religious extremists of this country feel that the Bible and the Constitution are rigid documents, meant to last throughout time just the way they were originally written. This idea wouldn't be all that bad to begin with, but the fact that both documents have changed over the years completely undermines their arguments. It doesn't bother me that people have a literal interpretation of these documents, but these same people pick and choose which parts pertain to them and ignore the parts that are inconvenient for modern society. Such distinctions are beyond my comprehension apparently, mainly because they don't make much sense.

So, instead of quoting either the Bible or the Constitution, I'll quote someone else:

A just law is a man-made code that squares with the moral law or the law of God. An unjust law is a code that is out of harmony with the moral law. To put it in the terms of St. Thomas Aquinas: An unjust law is a human law that is not rooted in eternal law and natural law. Any law that uplifts human personality is just. Any law that degrades human personality is unjust. All segregation statutes are unjust because segregation distorts the soul and damages the personality. It gives the segregator a false sense of superiority and the segregated a false sense of inferiority. Segregation, to use the terminology of the Jewish philosopher Martin Buber, substitutes an "I-it" relationship for an "I-thou" relationship and ends up relegating persons to the status of things. Hence segregation is not only politically, economically and sociologically unsound, it is morally wrong and awful. Paul Tillich said that sin is separation. Is not segregation an existential expression 'of man's tragic separation, his awful estrangement, his terrible sinfulness? Thus it is that I can urge men to obey the 1954 decision of the Supreme Court, for it is morally right; and I can urge them to disobey segregation ordinances, for they are morally wrong.

--(Martin Luther King Jr., "Letter from Birmingham Jail")

King may have been discussing the segregation of the races. Some will rightly argue that this is not the same situation. It isn't. However, there is still a clear distinction between the rights of one group over the rights of another. While the situation is different, the inequality is similar in its effects. As a tax-paying and voting member of this society, I don't feel as though I have an equal standing in America, and that feels wrong. I am not an "it," and I refuse to be treated as such.

Thank you to those who have spoken up. Now I have to wait for the one's who are sitting on the sidelines, silently agreeing with me, but not speaking up, holding the argument at arms length, waiting for others to make the hard choices, waiting for change. Until that change comes, Tim and I will continue to wait, in limbo, hoping to one day to sign a marriage certificate in America, in Texas, the country and state we love so much.

For now, I'll enjoy this hysterical video, minus those waffle fries. :)

The Dark Knight Rises with a BOOM!

Christopher Nolan promised that The Dark Knight Rises would be the end of his widely successful Batman films, and boy does he ever end on a high note, or, if not on a high note, definitely a loud one. I happened to see Rises in IMAX, where the music and gunfire sent vibrations throughout my entire body. It was an assault on my senses, and I enjoyed every minute of it.

While I have been a fan of Nolan's interpretation since Batman Begins, I was worried that Rises would not be able to top The Dark Knight. It may take a few more viewings, but I think Rises at the very least is a worthy conclusion to a phenomenal series.

When I first started to write this review, I kept thinking that the lack of a "Joker" type character somehow lessened the film's tension. Heath Ledger's performance created so much tension, and his dialogue was so fascinating (terrifying, actually, in that his logic lead down some dark alleys), that it was hard for me to imagine Nolan repeating the feat. However, I feel this approach was all wrong. Rises is a new film, a continuation of what Nolan started in Begins. Comparing Rises directly to Knight based solely on the performance of one actor would be a disservice to the story of the latter film.

Wisely, Nolan sidesteps any mention of the Joker. In fact, any references to him are indirect, most notably in a picture of Rachel Dawes (played by Maggie Gyllenhaal in the second film), and of course in any reference to Harvey Dent (played by Aaron Eckhart). All of these references are merely flashbacks, mile-markers to aide the audience in understanding the motivations of the characters in the current film.

Rises opens with an impressive, almost Bond-like, capture of an airplane in mid-flight, all for one man, Dr. Pavel (played by Alon Aboutboul). This scene introduces us to Bane (played by Tom Hardy), the central villain of the film. Bane's reasoning behind the kidnapping of Dr. Pavel is later revealed and will have devastating implications for the city of Gotham.

Meanwhile, it has been eight years since the events of The Dark Knight. Bruce Wayne is a recluse (leaning on a cane), Batman hasn't been seen in years, and Gotham has enjoyed what I'm guessing is a crime level that is relatively peaceful compared to the Joker's antics eight years prior. It's probably safe to assume that crime occurs, especially since the police are still needed, but organized crime has been virtually wiped off the streets.

Commissioner Gordon (played by Gary Oldman) has lost his family (his wife has taken the children and moved out of their house) and his feeling of self-worth because of the lie he is forced to maintain: that Batman is to blame for the Harvey Dent murders. In addition, it's revealed that Gordon may not be the Commissioner much longer.

Enter Selina Kyle (played by Anne Hathaway), who starts the film in Wayne Manor as a waitress. Quickly, however, she establishes herself as a very accomplished thief. Hathaway is quite an adept actress (I still feel like her best work is in Brokeback Mountain), and she establishes herself as an equal to all the other fantastic actors Nolan has assembled.

There's also the problem of Wayne's finances and his relying on Miranda Tate (played by Marion Cotillard) to save Wayne Enterprises, Bane's successful takeover of Gotham and defeat of Batman, and Wayne's subsequent imprisonment. Going over all of the plot points in the film would take much longer than is necessary for a blog post. Suffice it to say, everything goes to hell.

Nolan's film is well-paced and never once feels like a long movie, and at two hours and forty-five minutes many might consider it a very long movie. For me, the film is as long as it needs to be to tell the story. It's impressive that Nolan is able to juggle all the characters, allowing them space within the film to establish their characters, even the ones you'd think we knew quite well.

Hardy is quite effective in creating menace and terror with just his eyes, and it's even more impressive how large he got for the role. I don't remember that much bulk in Inception. Even though I couldn't understand all of his dialogue, but that doesn't matter; his intentions are clear, and other characters have the responsibility of providing his motivation. He's even allowed a moment of vulnerability near the end of the film.

Hathaway looks impressive as Selina Kyle (she's never once referred to as Catwoman), and I'm not talking about her cat-suit either, which fit her figure quite well. She was able to look convincing in her fight scenes, a regular femme fatale who's motivations are questionable.

Michael Caine also has some wonderful moments. As always, he carries the emotional center of the film, and his relationship with Wayne is definitely put to the test.

Nolan has mentioned before that one word drives each of the three films: "fear" for Batman Begins, "chaos" for The Dark Knight, and "pain" for The Dark Knight Rises. All three represent the arc of Wayne's character development. "Fear" drives Wayne to become Batman. "Chaos" is a reflection on the consequences of his actions, and it also illustrates the very nature of him being Batman, an agent of order who is breaking the rules by being a vigilante. And now, "pain" represents the pain each character must overcome to move on, especially Wayne's own pain, and that if we fail to overcome that pain we can turn into monsters.

The film brings everything full circle. While some critics may feel that the characters are not fully developed and that Nolan's composition style lacks a three dimensional quality, I feel otherwise. The editing style never confused me, nor did the lack of meaningful compositions affect my viewing of the film. I happen to like Nolan's style, so it's probably a matter of taste. Over the last few years, he has created some of the best films I've seen. Each time I've gone to one of Nolan's films I've enjoyed myself immensely, usually smiling at some point, and I usually feel an emotional satisfaction I cannot deny.

My only concern with the film is the complete disregard for Gotham's citizens. Is there never a point when the people of Gotham rise up to help fight for their city? In The Amazing Spider-Man, there's a wonderful moment when the people of New York help Spider-Man, not so in Rises. Everything depends on Batman and his friends.

The Dark Knight Rises may not meet the incredibly high expectations of The Dark Knight, but I might change my mind after a couple of viewings. Either way, it's a wonderful conclusion to an incredible series of films.

Hanging with Karlee: Part 6

As I sit here, readying myself to type out the final entry in my "Hanging with Karlee" series, I am struck by a feeling of sadness. I wish I didn't have to stop, didn't have to end what has been a rewarding experience, both for the glimpse into parenthood and in having something new to write that has (so far) been well received by my friends and family. For all of you who have been keeping up with these posts, I thank you.

Our sixth day with Karlee ended up being our last. We had planned on keeping her for a couple more days, but those plans fell through, and I am thankful to point out that it wasn't because Karlee wanted to go home. I think by the sixth day, Karlee had grown used to her uncles, and we had grown used to her, although not so used to each other that we'd want to make the situation permanent right this moment.

Since we had missed our scheduled trip to the Fort Worth Museum of Science and History the previous day, we decided to head over to the museum that Thursday. The main draw was the dinosaur exhibit and a new exhibit called "Grossology," which promises exactly what the title suggests. A more appropriate title I could not imagine.

Karlee loves dinosaurs. In fact, I remember the time we went with her to the Fort Worth Zoo--this was during her first trip to Dallas, and she had not stayed with us then. The Fort Worth Zoo is quite impressive, and we all had fun even with the blistering heat of the 2011 summer season. And while Karlee enjoyed all the living animals, she seemed to be more fascinated with the fake animals throughout the park, particularly the dinosaurs. See, that year, the Zoo had placed life-size sculptures of dinosaurs throughout the park. Of course, Karlee wanted to pet them all. It took all our efforts to keep her from crossing the rope barriers to touch every single dinosaur she saw. Believe me when I say she saw all of them.

I've always been fascinated with the connection children feel toward dinosaurs. Once, I read that children love dinosaurs because they are themselves living in a world where they don't feel quite like they belong. That's to say, children find themselves occupying a larger world where they feel unsure and out of place. Dinosaurs, on the other hand, are awkward beings, animals that would also not fit comfortably in the modern world; there's no place for them. This feeling of not-fitting in the world is a wonderful representation of a child's own feelings. However, it could also be that dinosaurs are big, powerful, and just plain cool.

Keeping all of this in mind, we knew Karlee would love this particular museum exactly because it contained an exhibit on dinosaurs, but there was a problem: The exhibit wasn't exactly what I'd call very interesting, at least not to a four-year-old. Yes, there were exhibits, but mostly of skeletons, no statues of more fleshed out dinosaurs. Karlee liked it, yes, but she only liked all the buttons she could push and all the bones she could touch. Tactile experiences seem to be preferable.

We quickly found ourselves out of the dinosaur exhibit and chasing Karlee through the more kid-friendly areas.

A word of advice, when taking your children to the Fort Worth Museum of Science and History: take your younger children to the grocery and medical areas within the Kid's Zone. They will love it. Nothing is quite as much fun as whole areas created solely for children to run around and pretend. As much time as they spend in the adult world, where going to the grocery store is anything but fun, a child will suddenly relish the chance to have a grocery store that is their size.

For Karlee, such an experience was a blast; for us, however, it was like having a glimpse of the apocalypse.

Image it: You go into a grocery store. There are about a hundred people running all over the place, some have carts, some have baskets, some are carrying their hoards in their arms. Everyone has a mad glint in their eyes. The shelves are bare, and you're looking for whatever you can find. Even though everyone is running around, there seems to be a nexus of movement at the cash registers. Some people are checking out while others are stealing the discarded food. And the cycle just goes on and on.

Now, image the above scenario with about twenty people instead of hundreds and all of them are about two feet tall.

Poor Karlee spent most of her time looking for a grocery cart, and after she found one she spent the rest of her time bargaining for the food she was looking for. She found a fish, a whole chicken and a various array of vegetables. At least her choices were healthy.

I think we spent about forty-five minutes in that one area. It took all we could just to get Karlee to check out (she refused to leave without checking out) and allow other children to use her cart. Since it took so much for her to acquire the cart, she just didn't want to give it up.

After that, Karlee moved over the hospital and ambulance area; and since we pulled Karlee from all the fun of the grocery store, she found a baby doll and hid herself in the ambulance, making sure not to make eye contact with us should we decide to disturb her fun again. And we did disturb her fun after about twenty minutes.

Next up was the "Grossology" exhibit. Now that I think about it, that exhibit may not have been the best idea, not because it wasn't cool or interesting, but because so much of it was written out and completely unintelligible to Karlee. However, she did like all the weird statues and buttons she could push.

I found the exhibit utterly fascinating because it covered all the grosser characteristics of the human body, presenting the material in a humorous and intelligent way. I do wish I could have spent more time in the exhibit myself. But, we had to keep up with Karlee, who ran from one section to the next, giving us very little time to figure out what each section was showing. Older children will benefit more from the exhibit. And from the great variety of butt jokes Karlee is capable of producing, I'm sure she will find the exhibit quite funny one day.

There was another exhibit that Karlee did enjoy because of two sections she could actively participate in, and it was called "Risk." She quite enjoyed the bed of nails and the metal beam that looked as though it was hovering hundreds of feet off the ground.

All in all it was a fun experience at the museum.... Until, of course, we got the store. Karlee, I believe, was presented with too many options in that store and couldn't quite decide on anything. Though, she did tell us a number of times that a couple of items were what she'd always wanted. Either way, I seemed to have a large black spot in my memory regarding that particular shopping experience.

Back in the car, we discovered that Karlee's Nana, Tim's mom, was going to meet us halfway between Dallas and Odessa to pick her up. So, basically, the Fort Worth museum was the last activity we were all to experience on this trip. We drove back to the apartment and packed up all of Karlee's toys and clothes, and within an hour and a half we were heading toward Abilene to meet up with Nana.

Now that I've been in a car with Karlee for three and a half hours, I'm sympathetic to Tim's mom, who did not relish the idea of traveling for five and a half hours with Karlee all by herself. She would be excited and playful one moment and nearly crying over the state of her seat-belt the next, only to be laughing again at a particularly funny butt joke she'd just made up. It was exhausting, fun, and full of anxiety, wondering when the next tearful moment would explode.

We arrived in the parking lot of a Dairy Queen just off of I-20 and started transferring all of Karlee's things over into the car Tim's mom came in. We exchanged greetings and provided the background information Tim's mom might need to understand Karlee's mood and some of what she may talk about. Karlee hugged us goodbye, thanked us, and then she was gone.

Tim and I drove back in relative silence, enjoying the quiet, and we enjoyed discussing all the fun things Karlee had said throughout the week. While we were relieved to have life descend back down to normal again, there was a small void in our lives at that moment.

We had experienced the closest thing possible to having a child of our own. It was the test before the real thing, and I believe we did pretty well. I know I was surprised by how much one little girl could affect my life, if only for a week, despite my former discomfort around children. Admittedly, I don't know why I wrote "former discomfort," as I'm still uncomfortable around children, but now I'm a bit more prepared. At least now I know what the future holds should Tim and I decide to have children.

With all the stresses, all the tears, all the anxiety, it is still one of the most rewarding experiences I've ever enjoyed. It's no wonder people keep having children.

Next time, maybe we'll be able to actually pull off Unicorn Land.

Hanging with Karlee: Part 5

Well, I hadn't intended on writing a post for every day Karlee spent with us. Oh well. Sometimes I just can't control myself.

Our fifth day with Karlee fell on Independence Day. It was the day Tim and I had scheduled a trip to the Fort Worth Museum of Science and History. Unfortunately, the website did not sell tickets to the exhibits on that day, and we didn't want to drive all the way out there for nothing. We didn't call the museum, and that was probably an error on our part. But we may not have been thinking all that clearly that morning.

Since the museum was out, we decided instead to see Brave, the movie we'd planned for Thursday. Thankfully, we didn't have to get ready so early as the film started early that afternoon. We played "Animal Shop" with Karlee; ate a big breakfast of pancakes, eggs and bacon; and then got ready for the movie.

Karlee had been excited about the movie the entire week, constantly asking when we'd see it. It probably didn't help matters that her Uncle TJ had purchased a small toy castle with action figures from the film. Or, at least I think he bought it. It was one of the toys Karlee came to Dallas with, but not one of the ones where I was present for the purchase.

We took Karlee to our favorite movie theater, the AMC at Northpark Mall. I love it there, not because it's at one of the "nicer" malls in Dallas, but because the screen images are brighter, sharper and the sound is better than any of the theaters I've been to so far. Plus, Tim and I usually get our usual seats: the ones behind the handicap spaces. We like these seats because of the bars directly in front of us, which makes it easier to rest your feet without having to worry about the people in front of you. And, of course, the seats are pretty comfortable.

All of this didn't impress Karlee, who just wanted to see the movie.

We bought our tickets and made our way up the escalator and into the lobby. Obviously, our next stop was going to be the concession stand. We stood in line for about ten minutes, all the while discussing what Karlee would like to drink. She settled on an Icee, but she kept changing her mind on what color she wanted: pink or red. To be honest, I only think they had pink, which turned out to be white, but Tim had asked if she wanted red and that was all it took.

"I want the pink one... No, I want the red one..... I think I'll take pink..... But the red one is SOOOOO good..... But I like pink...." and on and on and on. Like with car rides, Karlee made waiting in lines an exercise in patience.

She finally settled on pink as we approached the front of the line, and I quietly suggested that Tim take her away from the concession stand so the pair of them wouldn't go crazy at all the candy and treats. I knew that if Karlee had seen all the candy she'd want it all, and Tim would be more than willing to oblige. With both of them away from the concession stand, I could easily get just the drinks.

I was successful......

That is until about thirty-five minutes later....

After getting the drinks ("Why is this white? I wanted pink." "It's light pink, Karlee."), we made our way to the theater, about forty minutes before the movie was supposed to start, and we were immediately corrected on our timing. Karlee informed us that arriving so early was completely unnecessary and that she ALWAYS arrived about five minutes before the movie started so she didn't have to wait. See, Tim and I had been doing it all wrong and knew nothing regarding the whole movie-going process. Well, thanks again to "Plants vs. Zombies" I was able to keep Karlee occupied.

It seems Karlee also does not like for a movie theater to be empty as it's a bit scary to her. She likes for plenty of people to be there. Karlee is going to be an extrovert, I can tell. She doesn't like spending much time by herself. No, she wants to be in the thick of it all. Whether with adults or other kids, she seems to need other people to feel comfortable.

After thirty-five minutes of keeping Karlee busy, and after more and more people filled the theater, Karlee saw a woman cross in front of us with a huge bag of popcorn.

"I want popcorn."

I looked at Tim, and he said, "Okay, we'll get you some popcorn." Five minutes before the movie was supposed to start. Five minutes.

Now, anyone who has gone to the movie theaters with me knows I like seeing the previews. Yes, I know I can see most of them online now, but I still enjoy watching them on the big screen. It's a part of the whole movie-going experience.

As I walked out of the theater and saw the huge line that led up the to the concession stand, I got a brief picture of what my movie-going experiences would be like with kids: missing the best parts of the movies. Whether for snacks or restroom breaks, I was going to have to get used to a different movie-going experience, one that included missing parts of movies; that is, unless I sneak out of the house to watch a movie by myself, but that's really not that fair for the rest of the family. I may just have to wait until they come out on video and watch them at home.

With the expense and the hassle of taking kids to the movies, I can completely understand why some of my friends no longer see very many movies now that they have kids.

Truthfully, my experience was not that bad. I did make it back into the theater with about ten minutes until the actual movie started. Funny. Advertisements and trailers take up the first twenty to thirty minutes of a film's time. I like trailers, but maybe not that much.

"I don't like the white popcorns. I like the yellow ones." Funny. I did not know that. For future reference, Karlee likes the yellow popcorns, which are hard to find in a darkened theater, so bring a flashlight.

We all liked the movie, though Karlee hid her eyes during the scary parts, which there were quite a few (Shameless self-promotion: I do have a review of Brave on this blog, just scroll through the archive under July of this year).

Even though I had a bit of a sarcastic tone in depicting our time watching Brave, Karlee actually is pretty fun to watch movies with. She's attentive and inquisitive. However, I would advise that a parent watch the movies first before letting their kids watch them. This is not to "screen" the film for appropriateness, but to be prepared for the million questions the child may ask as the movie plays. The fun of watching a plot to unfold is just too much for a four-year-old mind.

Maybe I should develop a Blu-Ray feature that simultaneously plays the film and provides answers to a child's questions about character motivation and plot. If I were watching a film I hadn't seen before, this whole exercise might grow tiresome quickly.

Nevertheless, I truly enjoyed hearing Karlee ask the question below in response to seeing King Triton storm in to Ariel's grotto:

"Why isn't he wearing a bra?!"

 Now that I think about it, he's chest is a bit excessive, isn't it?

Hanging with Karlee: Part 4

And on the fourth day, God declared there would be a trip to the library and to the Dallas Aquarium. Not really God, obviously, but that was on our itinerary, and the library just happened to be Karlee's request. I couldn't have been happier. Like with Legoland, the library is the type of place where I can have some fun.

Back in Odessa, when Tim was trying to convince Karlee to come to Dallas (you know, the whole Unicorn Land episode), he asked her where she'd like to go while in Dallas. One of the first places she mentioned was the library. My eyes lit up. To top it off, we'd be going to the first of two museums: the Dallas Aquarium. Another score!

Thankfully, after the long and exhausting day at Hurricane Harbor, we didn't need to get up quite so early. The books and the animals could wait for a more decent wake-up time. Once again, we participated in our ritual. Tim and I got up first. I took a shower, drank a cup of coffee, and we both started to make breakfast. Karlee did a "big stretch" and bounded out of bed, ready to play, but only after a trip to the bathroom.

After breakfast, Karlee and I played "Animal Shop" while Tim took a shower. Another ritual of sorts then took place when Tim was ready: "Karlee, come in here so I can brush your hair."

Any mother, daughter, or relative/friend of a mother-daughter combo who has either witnessed or experienced the "Let's brush your hair" scenario can tell you that it can be quite the ordeal. All throughout Tim and Karlee's "Hair Brush" sessions, I kept having flashbacks to my own childhood, back when my mother and sister used to have their own "Hair Brush" sessions. As a boy with short hair, I did not experience such sessions directly, but I must say witnessing them is just as traumatic--I imagine--as experiencing them.

Think of the elements of the scenario: There's the adult, trying to get everyone ready at a decent hour; there's the child, with a nanosecond long attention span (wanting both to go and to play just a bit longer); and then there's the brush, the tool of torture. Of course, add in the fact that Karlee moves so much all the time, even while sleeping, and you have a potentially tear-filled scenario just waiting to happen, and not just from Tim either.

Each time Tim brushed Karlee's hair the dialogue went something like this:

Karlee: "Ow! You're hurting me!"

Tim: "If you'd stay still it wouldn't hurt as much."

Karlee: "Well, if you'd stop brushing it, it wouldn't hurt."

Gotta love a kid's logic, right? For a kid, social conventions are illogical (and to be honest, quite a few of them are).

What I found humorous--though Tim would disagree--was the fact that all the hard work put into the child's hair was defeated within seconds, all thanks to the car seat. See, the moment Karlee sat down in her booster seat, she'd rub her head all over the back seat, creating a fantastic mess of hair thanks to all the static electricity. Naturally, we started carrying a brush with us at all times. Is this how a "Mom's Purse" starts? Where gradually, over the years, parents just start collecting various objects as they need them, so that by adolescence parents will have everything anyone could ever need, all located withing a parent's bag? I can so see that happening. If Tim and I are to be parents, we must get bigger bags.

At the library, it turns out that Karlee isn't all that interested in "kid's" books. No, she's more interested in "reading" thicker, more mature books. I found this fascinating since Karlee can only recognize a few letters and words at the moment. The books she chose were massive compared not just to the normal kid's books, but also to her own physical size.

She'd just wander the isles pulling books at random, whatever looked interesting to her. Tim and I tried to pull out books more appropriate for her, and ones we could read to her in one day, preferably in a few minutes since Karlee's attention span is so short.

Speaking of short attention span. Karlee wanders everywhere at random, very much like electrons in an atom I imagine. She would walk to one area, stay there for a minute or two, and then dart off to the opposite end of wherever we were. At the library, she started at the picture books, then moved to the bigger books, then moved to a small theater room that was playing a documentary (she didn't say there long at all), and she'd go to the computers to play games. And after making one circle, she'd do it all over again, multiple times. We walked over that floor of the library following along in her wake. Apparently, a library can be just as exhausting as a trip to Hurricane Harbor, but it's the kind of exhaustion I do find satisfying.

Frustration did mount however because Karlee never wanted to leave any place we took her to. I've mentioned this before, but it bares repeating: It's like if she leaves, she'll never get to go there EVER AGAIN, and so must experience everything multiple times, just to make sure she gets in enough fun time.

As for the library, she wanted to take everything home with us. Everything. All the books, all the magazines, all the computers, and I'm sure she would've asked all the kids and all the employees to join us at home as well.

Even so, after some negotiations and some pleading on our part, we finally checked out (we ended up only taking three books and two movies). Next up, lunch!

Lunch was at one of the McDonald's downtown, a McDonald's that cannot be reached unless you walk or pay for parking, apparently. It was here that I introduced Karlee to a game called "Plants vs. Zombies" (incidentally, I was turned on to this game by Karlee's Dallas friend, Peyton). So if Karlee's mother, father, grandparents, aunts, and uncles are wondering what Karlee may be referring to when asking about "That Zombie Game," it's "Plants vs. Zombies." Truthfully, it's an addictive and fun game, and it's only three dollars for the iPhone edition.

Karlee soon became as nearly obsessed with the game as I am. Any time she felt bored, she'd ask for the "Zombie" game. It was a good way to distract her while Tim was getting our food, so she wouldn't keep asking "Where's Uncle TJ?" Invariably, after just a moment of sitting, she'd ask the above question, and I'd respond with, "He's in line getting our food."

"Why hasn't he ordered yet?"

"He's in line. It's not his turn to order yet."

"Where's our food?"

It's amazing how a child can transform a few minutes of waiting into an eternity of questions, all circling the same concept: wait.

The Dallas Aquarium proceeded lunch, and once again we were treated with the arduous task of keeping up with a four-year-old. She found everything fascinating. Thus, she wanted to see every single animal the aquarium had. She peeped into every cage, pointed at every source of water, and peered into every nook and cranny of the aquarium. It was all we could do to keep up with her. She wandered off without the slightest regard for her proximity to us. We had some severe difficulties with taking our own pictures and keeping her within sight.

Karlee is brave and unafraid of any form of animal, even the most grotesque. Indeed, she seemed the most fascinated by spiders, snakes, sharks, turtles, and alligators. However, she also liked the more kid-friendly flamingos. And she especially enjoyed a tribal dance ritual that was performed at the aquarium. In fact, she revealed her Texas roots as she watched one of the dancers play with fire.

"If he keeps playing with that fire, he'll turn into a steak."

Karlee sure does enjoy her steaks.

The last stop on our trip to the aquarium was its store, and for once Karlee didn't spend much time in the store. We made it a point that she was to only get one toy from the store. Tim got her a small penguin, a small leopard, and a dolphin necklace. He has always been a sucker for those big eyes of Karlee's.

Later, back at home, we decided to make our way to the pool, where Karlee tried swimming, jumping, and playing hide-and-seek with her toys. She even met a nice older gentlemen with rainbow colored toenails, which Karlee identified as "Funny."

Speaking of rainbows, Karlee seemed to have a problem with Tim and I calling each other "Babe." This is in addition to Karlee thinking that I needed a girlfriend. Tim told her that I didn't need a girlfriend, that he was all I needed.

I told Karlee myself that I didn't want a girlfriend. To which she replied, "But girls are pretty."

"You can have both Uncle TJ and a girlfriend."

"Oh really!?"

Once again, the wonder of a child's logic.

Needless to say, Tim and I kept calling each other "babe," and Karlee eventually got over it.  She even had a nice conversation with her new rainbow-toed friend. Children have the most accepting hearts. I witnessed this in the innumerable friends Karlee made throughout her trip to Dallas; she accepted everyone as a friend.

It would seem that it's our responsibility to help maintain that level of acceptance in a child's heart. Like with a child's own natural curiosity, acceptance needs to be nurtured and encouraged so there's little chance for hate and intolerance to gain a foothold in his/her heart.