A Life Full of Food, Family, and Plenty of Laughter

Just a couple of days ago, I was asked by my Mom and my Uncle Joey to deliver the eulogy for my grandmother. I was happy to do so; below is the written version. I'm posting it here so the family and friends who were not able to make it to the rosary will know what was said. My grandmother truly was a unique person, a woman of incomparable gifts. She will be missed by all who knew her.

A Life of Food, Family, and Plenty of Laughter

Last week I was discussing an old Greek myth with my students, and I ended up giving a lecture on being able to let go when faced with the loss of a loved one. I never imagined a couple of days later that I'd be standing here in front of family and friends to talk about the life of my grandmother. And now I'm faced with taking my own lecture on "letting go" and applying it to my own life.

Maria Racquelita Gonzales, or as I knew her, Little Grandma, was the only sister among a line of brothers; however, being surrounded by brothers did not reduce her spirit, instead she became a second mother and loving provider for her brothers. Whenever the family needed anything, she was there with enough food to feed an entire city and ten times as much laughter.

Indeed, when the hospital chaplain asked for some final words, my sister said she'd miss our grandmother's laughter more than anything else. As for me, I think food would take the top spot, but laughter would definitely be a close second. Her laughter was infectious. Even now, I don't remember a lot of the reasons why we laughed, just that we laughed so much that tears sprung from our eyes and our stomachs would ache for days afterwards. Even so, I do remember one time when grandma was preparing breakfast for my sister and me. It was something simple, just cornflakes, milk, and a little bit of sugar. Well, somehow my sister's bowl had something that looked like sugar but was most definitely salt. When grandma was around, life was not boring.

Just this past week, I was shown plenty of pictures of grandma, but one sticks out in my mind. It's a simple picture. It was grandma wearing a cowboy hat, a belt with a holster, and a six-shooter. Despite being a unique image, the one striking characteristic of the picture, the thing that draws your eyes is her mouth, wide open, teeth showing:  in other words, the perfect image of the kind of laughter she shared. No one can say Rachel Sedillo didn't love life, and she took every moment, no matter the situation, and transformed it into a joyous moment.

However, laughter was not her only gift. Another was her cooking, and if you've ever had her enchiladas or tamales (two of my favorites) then you know just what I'm talking about. Some of my favorite memories involve holidays, or those special occasions when grandma would pay us a visit, when I would sit in the kitchen and watch grandma make tamales, a tedious and long process that produced some wonderful food and even better memories.

Food usually accompanied grandma's other gift: helping others. Even if all she could give was food, a friendly ear, or simply her time, grandma was there for those she loved. Family, friends, she was there for everyone and anyone. Even after she retired form work, she still found time to help others. One particular memory comes to mind. My mom used to tell us a story that involved grandma sending mom to school with rollers in her hair. Obviously, for a teenager, this was not the best way to go to school. However, there was method to grandma's madness. During lunch, mom had one of her aunts do her hair because that day was "picture day" and grandma wanted her daughter to look her best.

She always wanted the best for and of her children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews. Even when my mother took up horse-back riding, despite not having ridden a horse before, grandma became her daughter's unofficial coach. She'd spend hours with children, playing and just listening, no matter how many ninja turtles I showed her, no matter if she knew what I was talking about. She'd nod and smile as though she understood everything. No matter what, she was everyone's biggest fan, especially when it came to family and friends. When her son, Joey, my uncle, played football, I'm sure there was one voice rising above all the other screams and cheers: his mom. Years later, she was even prouder when Joe married his wife, Tiffani, who later gave birth to more grandchildren. Grandma loved being a grandmother.

Of course, grandma did spend time on herself, as the bingo halls and casinos of New Mexico can attest. I remember one time when both my grandmothers found themselves in San Antonio. My parents and I had taken them to one of the great attractions San Antonio has to offer: the River Walk. We'd walked all over the River Walk, and I believe we even took a boat ride down the river. Needless to say, they were quite exhausted after all that walking, and of course they let us know just how tired they were. However, on our way back to the hotel, someone mentioned "bingo" and suddenly both grandmas had the energy of four year olds. Almost nothing could keep grandma from one of her favorite hobbies. Nevertheless, family came first.

She lived the life she wanted, a life full of food, family, love, and plenty of laughter. And while today there is a little less laughter in the world, while our hearts still grieve the loss of so unique and independent a person, her life will live on in our collective memories, and in the hearts of those whom she touched with her gifts. From now on, every excellent meal, every moment spent giving to others, and every laugh will be a reminder of the wonderful person we've lost. Until we meet, Little Grandma, until we meet again. In our hearts, you were anything but "little."