I have a horrible memory at times. No, all the time. I forget small things, mostly dates and names. Yet, ask me about a film, actor, book, or writer and can have some pretty good recall abilities, and so I remember my life in movies. When a film is attached to an event, I remember a lot more. And two of the earliest memories I have revolve around the movies I watched (another involves a glowing He-Man sword I got for Christmas one year, but that's television; I'm writing about movies here), and those two movies were The Neverending Story (1984) and The Little Mermaid (1989). The Neverending Story is still one of my favorite children's films, but I decided to write first about The Little Mermaid because it is the first film I remember watching in a theater, and it is the first film I remember watching where the whole story made sense: I understood everything. Call it my dawn of understanding.
Of course, where the movie was showing is a little vague to me, but I would always turn my head and look at a particular theater in Odessa with a kind of fondness. I believe it was the Scott Theater, but I could be wrong, especially since I found a website that informed me that the theater closed in the early 80's, before Mermaid's 1989 release. Nevertheless, it is the theater that somehow attached itself to the first movie I remember watching in a theater.
(Look, I learned how to add pictures! Go me!)
I know my family was with me (my mother still does a good imitation of Sebastian's kissing lesson, "You've got to pucker your lips, like this!" complete with exaggerated puckering sounds), but my eyes were glued to the screen. I was entranced by the colors and images on the screen, and even more so by the freedom of movement the artists captured. Ariel's world was so wonderfully conceived that I wanted to step into that world. I wanted to become a mermaid.
No, that is not a typo above. I wasn't all that thrilled with the mermen of the film, plus I didn't like the sound of that word, "merman"; "mermaid" sounds so much better. After watching the movie, I returned to daycare pretending to be Ariel. I wanted fins. I wanted to live in the ocean. I believe a part of me wanted to be rescued by a handsome prince. I think it was one of the first clues of a later revelation.
The moment in the film that still captivates me the most is Ariel's song "Part of Your World." It is a song of longing, of wanting something outside of a normal everyday existence. Ariel's grotto is filled with her human collections, a veritable library, each one another puzzle piece to be solved, each one telling a story that Ariel wanted to finish. On some level that longing resonated with me, long before I was smart enough to realize it.
(I couldn't find the picture I wanted, but this poster captures the same feeling.)
Another character that left a lasting impression on me is Ursula, my favorite Disney villain, with Scar coming in at a close second. Ursula is smart, driven, ambitious, and wonderfully despicable. She does evil things, but she has a lot fun doing them. Interestingly enough, according to Imdb.com Ursula was modeled after the drag queen, Divine, most famous for her roles in John Waters' films. There's quite a bit of drag queen in Ursula, which makes her fascinating, but it's what she does to Ariel that makes her evil. Ariel's voice is her talent, her sole form of artistic expression, and Ursula takes it from her. It'd be like taking away my ability to write. I just don't know what I'd do with myself if I couldn't express myself through words.
Either way, The Little Mermaid remains one of my favorite films, not just because of its beautiful presentation and wonderful story, but because it marked a special time in my life, a time when I was starting to figure out who I was and who I wanted to be. I wanted to be Ariel: smart, passionate, beautiful, and fabulous. The fact that I'm a boy didn't seem to concern me at the age of seven; it was merely an obstacle to be overcome. No, The Little Mermaid didn't make me gay, nor did it make want to change my sex, but it did highlight an aspect of my personality that was just starting to emerge. I was different and The Little Mermaid demonstrated that being different was something to be cherished and encouraged. Ariel survived and so would I.
Of course, where the movie was showing is a little vague to me, but I would always turn my head and look at a particular theater in Odessa with a kind of fondness. I believe it was the Scott Theater, but I could be wrong, especially since I found a website that informed me that the theater closed in the early 80's, before Mermaid's 1989 release. Nevertheless, it is the theater that somehow attached itself to the first movie I remember watching in a theater.
(Look, I learned how to add pictures! Go me!)
I know my family was with me (my mother still does a good imitation of Sebastian's kissing lesson, "You've got to pucker your lips, like this!" complete with exaggerated puckering sounds), but my eyes were glued to the screen. I was entranced by the colors and images on the screen, and even more so by the freedom of movement the artists captured. Ariel's world was so wonderfully conceived that I wanted to step into that world. I wanted to become a mermaid.
No, that is not a typo above. I wasn't all that thrilled with the mermen of the film, plus I didn't like the sound of that word, "merman"; "mermaid" sounds so much better. After watching the movie, I returned to daycare pretending to be Ariel. I wanted fins. I wanted to live in the ocean. I believe a part of me wanted to be rescued by a handsome prince. I think it was one of the first clues of a later revelation.
The moment in the film that still captivates me the most is Ariel's song "Part of Your World." It is a song of longing, of wanting something outside of a normal everyday existence. Ariel's grotto is filled with her human collections, a veritable library, each one another puzzle piece to be solved, each one telling a story that Ariel wanted to finish. On some level that longing resonated with me, long before I was smart enough to realize it.
(I couldn't find the picture I wanted, but this poster captures the same feeling.)
Another character that left a lasting impression on me is Ursula, my favorite Disney villain, with Scar coming in at a close second. Ursula is smart, driven, ambitious, and wonderfully despicable. She does evil things, but she has a lot fun doing them. Interestingly enough, according to Imdb.com Ursula was modeled after the drag queen, Divine, most famous for her roles in John Waters' films. There's quite a bit of drag queen in Ursula, which makes her fascinating, but it's what she does to Ariel that makes her evil. Ariel's voice is her talent, her sole form of artistic expression, and Ursula takes it from her. It'd be like taking away my ability to write. I just don't know what I'd do with myself if I couldn't express myself through words.
Either way, The Little Mermaid remains one of my favorite films, not just because of its beautiful presentation and wonderful story, but because it marked a special time in my life, a time when I was starting to figure out who I was and who I wanted to be. I wanted to be Ariel: smart, passionate, beautiful, and fabulous. The fact that I'm a boy didn't seem to concern me at the age of seven; it was merely an obstacle to be overcome. No, The Little Mermaid didn't make me gay, nor did it make want to change my sex, but it did highlight an aspect of my personality that was just starting to emerge. I was different and The Little Mermaid demonstrated that being different was something to be cherished and encouraged. Ariel survived and so would I.
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